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When discussing the situation, approach their misstep from a moral angle.

Let’s say that your teen was caught cheating on an exam. In the heat of the moment, emotions can take over, allowing no room for seeing someone else’s point of view.Ĭapitalize on Opportunities to Discuss MoralityĮntering an important or intense conversation from the moral quadrant of the compass can be an enlightening experience for parents and teens. If the discussion becomes combative or unproductive, allow your teen some time to pause, settle, and reflect before proceeding with the conversation. Remind them and yourself that emotions can run high, and a conflict or argument can greatly benefit from some breathing room. Simply acknowledging their feelings by starting with, “I see that you’re upset and I understand why” will allow teens to remove any defensiveness if a discussion becomes emotional on their end. Help your teen recognize when he or she is entering the conversation from an emotional angle by first validating his or her feelings. Understand that, hormonally and developmentally, it is probable that many debates or discussions with your teen will result in your child entering and participating in the conversation from the emotional axis of the compass-and this is okay.

Recognize and Validate an Emotional Viewpoint While the compass was originally designed as a method for structuring respectful and productive conversations around race, the same philosophies can apply when tackling tough discussions with teens at home. Now that we have scratched the surface of the compass from Singleton’s “Courageous Conversations about Race,” it is time to discuss exactly how parents can utilize the compass when having other courageous conversations with their teens.